Don't be a Dirty Wukong Purchaser

DON'T BE A DWP

 Sometimes I'm furiously hitting the 1 key to scroll through opposing boards, and a certain gigantic golden monkey will catch my eye.

Please, for the love of god, stop buying this chosen.  Seriously.  Enough.  It doesn't matter if it's Vanguard, it doesn't matter if it's Divine, it's not a remotely playable chosen.

Back before the 11.6 changes, the chosen chance was 33%, and you had to be a lot less discerning with what chosens you bought.  I'll admit, I used to be a Dirty Wukong Purchaser, or DWP, but back then we were desperate.  If you didn't buy that Chosen Wukong, you might not see anything better for the entire stage.  Wukong might as well have had the tagline, "Hey, at least it's not Fiora"!  We live in a different world now, with Cultists and Brawler chosens ruling the early roost, and everyone else opting for some sort of Spirit or Fortune opener, many people choosing not to play units whatsoever.  

Wukong, irregardless of positioning, will lose to a similar strength Cultist board.  He will die to either Sivir or Kalista before he does much of substance.  Wukong also loses to Brawlers, they have too much health and will always outlast his Divine passive.  Forget it if there's a Shyvana involved, he's getting toasted even with far greater cash on board.

One of the biggest ways to define the impact of a specific unit is if it can allow you to beat or lose well against boards that have more money/resources on them.  Wukong will not do this.

That leaves us with Fortune and Spirits, both of which actively want to lose.  And the maniacs who don't play any units.  Which would lose to a Fiora 1 board.  

The cost to play Wukong is that you can't hit another chosen.  No chosen 2 cost high rolls, no Cultist Twisted Fate or Elise.  You're stuck with Wukong.  There's no reroll potential after the nerfs, where it barely existed originally, it's totally absent now.  Buying a Wukong chosen gives you a near guarantee of an awkward WWLWL path into Krugs, which will costs you huge amounts of gold in the long term.

In terms of other, more insidious costs to pay, you won't win out in Carousel priority, and you won't adequately save HP.  In bad match-ups, you get absolutely smoked.  In good match-ups, you would have won with no chosen at all.  Wukong only really sends you towards Neeko or Kayle, because he is good with Divine and Vanguard units, respectively, but otherwise offers no direction.

Obviously there's an exception to every rule, and playing your best means knowing when to break them.  If I could put 4 Vanguard together, I would probably buy Vanguard Wukong, and the same goes for 4 Divine.  If I had a Nidalee 2 and a Tristana 1, I would probably buy either one because I'm in the classic "just add frontline" spot.  Would I ever buy Wukong at 1-2 or 1-3, something I see happen in more than half my games?  Absolutely not.  You don't even have a fully established board yet, and you're already hitting yourself in the shins with a hammer.

Please keep Wukong Chosen in the shop, where he belongs.

TL;DR Wukong chosen guarantees a mixed streak to Krugs, has no reroll potential, and deprives you the ability to hit better chosens.